I was about 9 years old when I had my first crisis of faith. I remember it so well. I had piled every stuffed animal and doll on my bed and crawled in the middle. I had just enough space for me in the middle and then I carved out a little more to my right side. I rolled to my left side and prayed with the complete faith of a child for my own real baby girl. Don't laugh. This is totally true :). I rolled over and opened my eyes, fully believing to see my prayer answered in my own baby. And I was shocked when one did not appear. Maybe God didn't hear me. I tried again. Still no baby. I remember being heart broken. I was so sincere. I knew I could handle it.
God, obviously, new better. He actually answered yes. But it was not for about 20 years that I got my baby girl. Charlotte Marie. Oh how I love her.
And now we wait for daughter number 2. Esther. I'm totally sincere. I know I can handle it. Now I just wait. Lesson learned. Surly it won't take 20 years (even if it feels that way at times). Now I get it. God's timeline is better than mine. And truth be told, it's all worth it because He gives me amazing daughters.
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